She lived, she loved, she wrote

The ramblings of a somewhat nutty writer

love and respect seems somewhat lacking in today society

Love, it’s such a complex thing, sneaking up on you when unexpected or uninvited. Often when you’d given up hope that it would ever come, unless you’re one of the lucky ones, who get’s grabbed early, or the unlucky ones, who get’s grabbed often and repeatedly.

But how many of us truly understand what love is?

The bible say’s:

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV)

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,  but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

So what this tells us that we should do everything in love, but it also tells us what love is, and what it isn’t.

How many of us can truly say that we have loved like this:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I know I can’t and I suspect the only ones who can are God and Jesus.

But despite the fact that no single one of us could ever hoped to live up to this, how many of us truly make a conscious effort to try.

It is believed that nearly half of all marriages in the UK and America end in divorce these days. However, for my Nan’s generation divorce was pretty rare, and was seen as a bad thing.

Now, divorce is simply the norm, it’s not pleasant, but still an easier option than trying to work through a marriage and iron out the problems.

On top of that, lot’s of young girls are getting pregnant, and in a lot of cases being left to raise the children by themselves, or opting out, by heading to the abortion clinics.

We also have a lot more angry youths than ever before, who are attacking innocent people; destroying others property and just generally running riot.

Real love it seems is truly lacking in this world.

But there is something else that I feel is lacking too, responsibility.

These day’s few people are prepared to take responsibility for their actions, or the actions of their children.

When our children do something wrong, we try to pass the blame, sometimes it’s our husbands fault, other times the school’s and sometimes we even look to our own parents, in order to lay the blame.

“Well if my parent’s hadn’t been so tough on me, I wouldn’t be so soft on him” or vice versa.

When what we should be saying, is “Ok, how can we/I change this behaviour.”

My son recently has started stealing other people’s drinks, not a huge crime in itself, but still wrong, especially when, the other day, he drunk and alcoholic drink, by doing this.

Now, my little boy only has to ask politely for a drink, and either my husband or I will go and get him one, so it’s not lack of fluids that is causing him to do this. However, being that he is just 5 years old, we try to monitor what he drinks, making sure he regularly gets milk, and also plenty of water, while being careful not to give him to many sugary or sweet drinks, although he does get these on occasion to as a treat.

We also let him have warm cups of tea, with one sugar, which he really enjoys, and he gets lots of Cranberry Juice, my main drink of choice.

My husband however likes Vimto, and Kye is allowed one glass of this a day, now I wondered if maybe he was doing it to get more of the drinks that Dan has, but that doesn’t fit either as he steals drinks from everyone, and often will drink the same thing that he has in his own cup at that very moment from someone else’s.

My only conclusion I could come to, is that it is a case of the grass is always greener, and that he simply wants to make sure that the other persons isn’t better than his own.

I have sat him down and discussed with him why what he is doing is wrong, and pointed out that although it is not a huge crime in itself, it is still stealing and that stealing is a sin.

Yet kye continues to take others drinks. We have also tried taking away the drinks he favours best, as a punishment, but this of course, as I feared resulted in him doing it all the more.

In the end we were forced to take away the temptation all together, and will actually take our drinks with us in order to stop him from stealing them; Which, surprisingly had the desired effect, when one day Kye came up to me and asked, “Mummy, why do you and daddy always take away your drink’s when you leave the room.”

I in turn explained how people can lose faith in others, if they repeatedly did bad things, and that Daddy and I had lost our trust in Kye, because he had continually stolen our drinks. Kye then to my surprised asked why we no longer let him try the new things we had for dinner, something we had always done before, and which both Dan and I had stopped doing without even realising it.

(Kye can be a fussy eater so whenever we try something new, he has to try some of ours before he’ll agree to have it for his own dinner one day)

The only thing I could think to say was, “Well Kye, people don’t want to share with people who just take without asking.”

He responded, “But I really wanted to try that thing you had last night.”

I explained to Kye that we loved him very much, but that when you repeatedly do things that are bad people sometimes without even realising it, will pull away from you, not trust, you and no longer want to share with you. Because they are always on edge, afraid that if you like something of theirs, you might steal it.

Kye replied, “But I wouldn’t steal your dinners.”

To which I responded, “Kye, you say that, but I never thought you would steal others drinks either.”

At the time I was not sure how much of what I had said to Kye had sunk in, and I had countless friends saying to me, but it’s just a drink what does it matter. Now, it may be just a drink, but if the behaviour is not corrected, what will it become.

Sweet’s from other children at school, food from lunchboxes, maybe even sweets from shops, if you allow your child to think it is okay to help himself to other peoples things, without asking, then what are you teaching them in the long rung.

If you want it take it?

The problem is there are plenty of parents out there who are doing just that, laughing at the little things their children do, like stealing drinks, and then they wonder why later on he goes on to steal from his classmates or worse, from other people’s homes.

My sister is a prime example of this, she had her daughter when she was just 16 years old, and she would take her out with her friends sometimes for hours on end, now, my niece was well looked after at these times, but she was also subjected to a lot of teen language, bad language, then one day while at home, with a group of my sister friends, my niece came out with a swear word, instead of being mortified my sister and all her friends started to laugh and encourage my niece to say it again and again, when I tried to intervene my sister of course over ruled me, it was after all her child.

They all went on and on about how cute it was, and how funny, and my niece lapping up the attention, and like most children enjoying their laughter, continued to repeat all the swear words they could throw at her in her cute little voice.

Now, had it not of been for my mother who on hearing what they had done, got very angry with my sister, and thus stopped the game in its tracks, my niece would have no doubt have gone to school already using swear words as an everyday part of her language.

However, there are plenty of young parents out there who don’t listen to their own parents, and who do continue the process on, only chastising the child for the swearing if they use it against them, and in some cases not even then.

Now if we go back to 1 Corinthians 13, and look at the beginning of verse 5, it says that Love does not dishonour others

Swearing, therefore not love, and the same is true of stealing.

Since becoming a Christian, I have seen how badly the UK has been affected by people turning away from God, back when my Nan was a child, God was a very large part of most family’s lives, people tried to follow God’s rules, attended church, and were not just having their children Christened for the sake of a party.

As a result children were better behaved, society as a whole was a lot more pleasant, and teens were not running riot everywhere you looked.

My Nan once said the naughtiest thing she did when she was younger was pretending she’d brushed her teeth when she hadn’t, and that even then she had felt so guilty for it, that she’d snuck out of bed when everyone was asleep to go and do it.

But the true example for following God’s rules, comes when we look at good Christian families, we see how polite their children are, how kind, and we compare them to the large majority who haven’t been raised by good Christian parents.

Now, that’s not to say that all children who are raised by parents who are not Christian are bad, as there are people out there who are not Christian, who understand the importance of raising their children to be respectful of others, hard working, and good.

So I think it is perhaps best to say, that when raising our children, regardless of if we are Christian or not, we should considered God’s words, about love and we should do our best to raise our children towards love and not hate.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

Love and Hugs

Jossie Marie xxx

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A Christmas gift that could well become a family treasure for generations to come

Today while finishing up my Christmas shopping I came across a lovely gift that you can buy for your mum, dad, sisters, brothers, grandparents ect, called the me to you Journal.

The idea of the gift is that your loved ones can fill them in over a time and then give them back to you, perhaps as a gift for your birthday or even Christmas again, so that you can learn all about them and their lives, you can also buy one for yourself to fill out for your own children and it can then be passed on down through the family for generations to come.

With questions like:  

Tell me about the time and place you were born . . .

What were your favourite childhood toys or games?

What would you do for a night out when you were dating?

Tell me about a special piece of music that you and Dad had ‘just for you’ . . .

Before I was born, what other names had you thought of calling me?

What was the first word or words you remember me saying?

What are the happiest or greatest memories of your life?

What are a few of your favourite things?

If you were an animal . . . what type of animal would you be, and why?

Describe something you still want to achieve in your life . . .

Tell me about the things that have made you happy or laugh . . .

Given your experiences, what piece of advice would you like to offer me?

This book can give you treasured insight into your loved ones lives, loves and longings, and can also make for great conversation on Christmas day.

On top of that the book apparently won the gift of the year award, which is an added bonus, I grabbed a copy for my mum and one for my sister too, and can’t wait to hand them over this Christmas, so if you’re looking for a little extra this year, and want a really special gift, this could be the perfect one.

Love and hugs

Jossie Marie xx

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Doggy-tastic, come meet my happy hounds :)

Dogs have always been a big part of my life and my family was very much a dog one, meaning of course that we always had at least one dog, not that all my family members were dogs, although that would have made for a very interesting childhood.

When I was born, dogs were already a part of my family and so instantly became a part of mine, my Grandmother in particular was dog mad, and actually bred Chihuahua’s, both long coated and smooth. When she died she left all fifteen f her beloved pets to my mother, who, not all that interested in breeding, and certainly not as passionate about them, as my grandmother had been, decided to re-home all but three of the dog’s to close friend’s and family.

The three she kept, were given to me, and my two sisters, one each, and they were Bunny, who spent most of his life with his tongue stunk out, Kitten, who was considered my Chihuahua and Gizmo.

We had those dog’s for a long time, until my family decided to move from Kent to Cornwall, I was really to young at the time to even remember the dogs, but have seen plenty of pictures and even some videos of them.

Mum say’s that she had planned to bring the dogs with us, when we moved, however, the vet felt Bunny and Kitten, were just too old to make the trip, which seems so strange to me now, after all, it really wasn’t  that long a car journey, just six hour. At any rate, Bunny and Kitten went to live with one of the veterinary nurses at the practice, and I guess, mum not feeling it was right for Kirsty to keep hers, when Tasha and I, had to let ours go, decided to re-home Gizmo too.

However, being the sort of family, that enjoyed having a dog or two, it wasn’t long before a new dog came into our lives, one I would grow from child to teen with and her name was Sweep. She was a beautiful Collie cross, with the sweetest nature ever and she became one of my best friends. You see as my sisters grew, they branched off towards boys and friends, but I always remained more interested in our dog and dogs in general, than anything else, so much so that I walked hundreds of dogs in our local area, and loved every minute of it.

Since then I’ve worked with lots of animals, rescued lots of animals, and been animal mad, but Dog’s will always be the animal which I quite simply could not live without. A home just doesn’t feel like a home, for me, without them.

I currently have three dogs, and I shall introduce them all to you now.

Harley de

Breed: A (are you ready for this lol) Parson’s Jack Russell x Dachshound x Corgi x Dalmation x Border Collie.  There may be more but that’s the ones we know of lol.

As you can see he looks like a black and white Parson Jack Russell, or a Patterdale terrier. all be it with a slightly longer and stockier frame.

Age: 10 years old, 11 Christmas day.

born: Christmas Day, 2000, at 5am.

nicknames: De, De man, Hol’s, Old man, chunky monkey, and sir grumpalot.

likes: squeaky toys, tug rope, ball’s, pretty much any toy to be fair, swimming, chasing pheasants, going for long walks and run’s, tiny bits of wire, which, if he manages to get hold of, he’ll gnaw on for hours, cuddle’s, cuddle’s and more cuddles, and large heaping’s of food.

Dislikes: Men with long hair, anything bigger than him that does not bow down to his supremeness, people daring to move when he is sleeping on or near them, and people who look like me. but don’t sound like me.

Harley, has been with me since the day he was born, before if you count when he was in his mummy’s tummy, his conception was never meant too be, but I’d never change it. His mother, my little girl Tamika, was in season and mum’s Dachshund x Scampy was going loopy for her scent, however, we were sure with careful planning we could keep them safely apart.  We very much underestimated the determination of Weiner dog.

So picture the scene, we’re getting ready to go out, mum hold’s scamp while I bring Tamika downstairs and out to the Garden, it’s a sweltering hot day, so I decide she’ll be more comfortable out there with the door to our concrete shed open, so she can escape from the sun, a few toys, and a large bowl of water. I then go back into the house, open the windows for scamp, but secure the child lock’s, meaning they can only open a few inches, which I’m certain should be enough to let scamp get some nice fresh air, while being no way big enough, for this fat little pooch to squeeze through.  We then head off out, happy that both dog’s are safely separated

A couple of hours later we return, and oh my gosh what a mess, there were ornaments, that once adored the window sill, all over the floor, and deep gouges in the window frame and sill, from scamp’s claws, as well as large clumps of black fur everywhere, and what can I see outside, but one very worn out, but clearly very happy dachshund x, tied with my beautiful little girl and thus Harley was conceived along with his 5 sisters. I learnt a valuable lesson that day, and have never underestimate the desires of a male dog since.

Harley spent his early years, being spoiled rotten, and it was only when my now husband came along that he was unceremoniously knocked down a peg or two, something he was none to pleased about, but which he eventually excepted grudgingly.

Harley is a determined little boy just like his father scampy, who is now almost twenty years old, completely blind and deaf, yet still refuses to admit defeat. I suspect Harley will be just as stubborn, when it comes to his old age, but I’ve removed Harley’s chances of impregnating any little girl’s, having, as I said, learnt my lesson well since witnessing Scampy’s determination on that hot, summers day.

Yet despite his lack of manly bit’s Harley still refuses to hand over his spot at the top of the pack, to our in tack Rottweiler, Hooch. No longer having any little girl’s Hooch has been able to hang onto his manly bit’s, although he’ll have to enjoy them while they last, as now he is getting older, we are planning to have them removed, to protect against the risk of testicular cancer which is common in the breed.

So let’s talk about Hooch…

Breed: Rottweiler

Age: 8

Born: ???

Nicknames: pooch, poochie, hoochie poochie,

Like’s: Carrying teeny, tiny, soft McDonald toy’s round in his mouth, food and lot’s of it, people, especially kids, cuddles, wading in the shallows  while Harley swims out for the toy, toilet roll tube, games of tug of war,sleeping, thinking he’s a lap dog, believing he’s smaller than he truly is, wrestling with daddy, stamping his font feet, howling along to music and sneaking up on the bed for a cuddle with me, when daddy’s not looking.

dislikes: bath’s, being on a diet, long walks, bad weather, Daddy banning him from the bed.

Hooch came to us when he was already five years old, he is a very gentle giant, and not really the brightest dog in the world, but his affectionate nature and clownish ways make up for that fact. He often breaks things, crashes through things and before we blocked the cat flap, got his head stuck a lot too, however he also keep’s us laughing.

People are often afraid because of his huge size and of course breed, but he is really the most gentle natured dog I’ve ever had or met, and a blessing to our family despite his clumsiness. He is also brilliant with the latest addition to our family Ludo.

Breed: Blue Merle Border Collie

Age: 10 week’s old

Born: 8 th of October 2011

Nicknames:  Lu, bumble butt, Lude, puppy, pupzickle,

Likes: cuddles, kisses, playing tug of war, chasing my son back and forward, round and round, eating, sleeping, playing with his big brothers Harley and Hooch, snuggling up with Hooch, squeaky toy’s, and lot’s of attention.

Dislikes: Wind, rain, baths and Hooch’s big old bark.

Ludo was an early Christmas present/ well done for completing NaNoWriMo in just 17 days gift. He is a very cute little pup, who is going to have a very special job when he is bigger, as he’ll be being trained as a service dog, to help me with my disabilities.

He is both a very lively puppy and a very well behaved pup, and has settled into our family really well. I had always wanted a Blue Merle Collie and being very clever dog’s who like lot’s of mental stimulation, we felt it would be just the breed, to help assist me.

He has a lot of training ahead of him, but we hope he’ll enjoy it, which considering his love of food and toy’s which are the main rewards in his training, I’m sure he will.

We named him after Ludo, from the labyrinth.

Just because I love Ludo from the Labyrinth and of course, Ludo Friend.

So there you have it, all three of my beloved pooches, I’d love to hear about your doggy pals.

Love and Hugs

Jossie Marie

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Tormented to death. Isn’t it time parent’s stood up and took responsibility for their children?

I read in The Sun newspaper this morning that a poor man with learning disabilities had been tormented to death by youths, who had been attacking him and his home for 30 years, spanning three generations. Despite both the man and his family going to the police and the council over and over, nothing was done to stop their torment.

It is horrifying to think, that no one stepped in, and tried to deal with the issue, but I can’t help wondering what the parents of these youths were thinking.

If three generations of their family have been doing this, they surely knew about their children’s actions, why did they not step up and stop the abuse and teach their children a lesson or two about respect?

There used to be a time when parents taught their children, respect, compassion, and kindness. Now it seems as if parents are just shoving their children out onto the street without checking where they are going or what they are doing.

Bullying, in particular, is an area people just do not take seriously enough, they state that it is part of life, natural, to be expected. Clearly they never suffered at the hands of a bully. Bullying is not natural, nor should it be expected, and it should absolutely not be a part of life.

Too many people have taken their own lives due to bully’s, to be tormented so bad that you feel the best option is death is not right, no matter how badly the authorities and others try to sugar coat it.

If I ever discovered my son was bullying others I would be mortified, and I would be making sure that it never happened again.

How hard is it to teach your child that they should not do to others what they would not want done to themselves and why aren’t more parents teaching this valuable lesson?

Life is hard enough without people allowing their children to run around creating havoc and causing stress for others, it is hard enough without bullies abusing people, who are just trying to get on with their lives in peace.

There are parent’s today who mock others for teaching their children kindness, patience, and compassion, among other things, but isn’t this exactly what we should be teaching our children. People feelings are as fragile as an egg, and although they attempt to portray themselves with a hard shell, even the toughest will crack under constant pressure. There is enough anger and hurt in the world without us or our children adding to it.

The riots in London, and this poor man’s death at the hands of our youth, should show us how badly the next generation is turning out, and the reality is, the government can’t fix this, nor can the police, it’s the parents, those on the frontline, so to speak, who need to bring about change.

Because if we don’t, how bad are things going to get from here?

love and hugs

Jossie Marie

ps: you can read the full story here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3985007/Tormented-to-his-death.html

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That shrinking feeling

Do you ever get the feeling that things are closing in around you? That what once was a large space, is growing smaller and smaller by the day? Perhaps you share a wardrobe, or a bed, where once you had half and now…

Well, I share a garage, a garage that I was never allotted much space, but in which I was afforded just enough room for my mobility scooter, and me. Despite my husband’s endless clutter, of motorbikes, tool’s and an a never ending array of, “one day it might be useful” item’s, I quite liked my little space, it was easy to reverse into, left me room to step off and move comfortably along the side to freedom, and I was easily able to ignore the rest.

However, lately I’ve felt as if hubby’s things are closing in on me. It started off with a thud, as I discovered, I couldn’t reverse in nearly as far as I once could, then I was met by a thud, and a crunch, and a few days later a screech joined the mix, I ignored all these things hoping they would just magically disappear, until today, when I was met with a whole cacophony of noise, as I struggle to make my scooter fit, into the spot that had once been so comfortable and which now seemed downright claustrophobic.

Once in, I wondered how on earth I was going to get out, while my son stood hands on hips and hissed “Daddy.” Yes, even my sweet, little five year old, knew who was responsible for this predicament.

Looking to the sky, I wondered if I should just drive the scooter out and wait for hubby to get home, but the big black clouds looming in the distance, suggested that might not be the best plan I’d ever had, so instead I was forced to squeeze between scooter and Junk to freedom.

That done, I stood and surveyed the scene, a large piece of wood, that had slid out at the bottom, was the main walkway thief, and behind the scooter even more wood was dictating my backward movement’s, Lastly the mini motor, brought supposedly for my son, when he was just six months old, by my beaming hubby, (need I say more) had stolen yet more of my space on the right hand side.

Now, to be clear, my scooter is not really depriving my hubby of all that much garage space, as our garage is long enough to fit two and a half car’s, and yet house’s no car’s. There are several motorbikes, and an old vesper, but mainly it is full of, what to me, is junk. (Hubby would disagree).

Hubby has also started an extension on the back of the garage to provide more junk space, has filled a back room in our house with what he calls the “Really” good stuff, and I call his, shiny and slightly less junky junk, and don’t even get me started on the mess he made of my once cute back garden, when he just had to hire that mini digger, supposedly to dig out the foundations, of said garage extension.

The point I am trying to get at here, is that, I think he should be easily able to spare a scooter size spot with a little room for walking, for his lovable wife.

Sadly when I rung my husband and allowed the angry five year old to demand, “Daddy you need to clean your garage,” and then explained to him, myself, in a somewhat calmer tone, the problem, Dan’s response was. “Maybe you need a smaller scooter.”

Needless to say, Dan will be getting a smaller dinner tonight, and for the foreseeable future, until my space in the garage magically grows again.

Men, you can’t live with them, and you can’t throttle them.

Love and hugs

Jossie Marie xxx

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