She lived, she loved, she wrote

The ramblings of a somewhat nutty writer

Blah days

Blah days, oh I have had so many of these recently and it is somewhat annoying considering how much I have to get done, but each and everyday I stare at the computer and I just cannot get focus. My Campnanowrimo word count is only just about 10 K which is pitiful considering that last year I had completely Nanowrimo in just 17 days. Then there is a press release I need to write up for a charity I offer my services too, free of charge of course, the Romanian Underdogs, their work is amazing you should really check them out, and then of course there is all the work I need to get done for  my publisher so that my first Novel Insane Reno can be published. 

The only item there is no strict deadline on is the press release, yet that is something that I feel should be done fast as well. I think a large part of the problem is due to my back being very bad at that moment, sitting at the computer for any length of time is very painful and short spurts at the desk then more time resting it, just doesn’t give me the time I need to truly get absorbed in what I am doing. 

I am starting to worry that I may be in a wheelchair sooner rather than later and it isn’t a pleasing prospect, that’s for sure, I guess I figured I would get a bit longer than this before it got so bad. Still I’ll  make do I always do, you can’t change it so getting down about it ain’t gonna make it any better. 

So pain is kicking in pretty bad now so I am going to head back to my comfy chair and try to ease it up a bit, take care all and have a good day. 

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Ready to begin, I think!

Ok so I am less than enthusiastic about getting started with Campnanowrimo, but I did finish reading the last of the Wolves of Mercy Falls by Maggie Stiefvater books which I very much enjoyed if you haven’t given it a go and you liked twilight it might be right up your street I really enjoyed it. So that is one less distraction for me as those books were really keeping me enthralled and it would have been hard for me to pull myself away from the in order to fulfil my Campnanowrimo daily word counts. 

Still though I am very much lacking in motivation so it is very much going to be a case of forcing myself to get going and stay going and what with my constant email checking and 5 year old son home, I get the feeling it may be a long and very tedious day. 

Still I just have to keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. For all those taking part in campnanowrimo this year, I hope you are have a more enthusiastic start than I lol. 

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I may have lost the plot

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So being the normal, sensible, sane person that I am, I decided on the spur of the moment, just day’s before the event itself that I would take part in Campnanowrimo. That would be fine if that was all I was doing this June, but with the new publishing deal on Insane Reno, my child off school for a week  and a selection of books to get through that could fill a small public library, in order to shake my husbands claim that I have an addiciton to buying kindle books. I get the feeling that this might have actually been a very silly idea, even if I did decide to do it for a good reason. ie to finish the prequel to Insane Reno, Annie.

Add to that the fact that I promised myself I would devote more time to my blog and the manic border collie pup, I have to keep entertained, I really do believe I have lost the plot lol.

Still what is life without a challenge right, I mean it’s only 50K in a month and I did complete the Nanowrimo 2011 in just 17 days, ok so I had a lot less on then but what the heck right. You never know if you don’t try. Sleep however may have to be put on hold for a while.

Is anyone else going to be taking part in campnanowrimo in June? If so good luck and I hope you fair better than I expect too lol.

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more on my publishing deal.

So as I told you on Wednesday Insane Reno is going to be published. For the last few day’s I have pretty much just been trying to process the fact that I am at last achieving my dream of having a novel published.

It is such a huge thing and something that so often I just didn’t feel capable of achieving, yet when I started to send it off to publishers and one agent, I received 3 acceptances and only one rejection. I was amazed, two of acceptances however just did not seem right for me and I finely settled on raven crest books, who has Dave Lyons running it.

I liked Dave from the off, he was very easy to talk to and made me feel instantly at ease, so all round it has been a very good experience.

I’m just having the contract checked out and we are discussing cover design and such so it is all very exciting at the moment.

I have always lacked faith in myself but was very lucky to have a very good support network around me, full of friends and family who had complete faith in me, which really helped so much.

When you book is finished looking for a publisher/ agent can be a very scary thing, but it is so rewarding when everything comes together and you have a publishing contract in front of you.

If you are looking for a publisher right now, or in the process of writing your book, just remember to keep you chin up and never stop trying. I realise I have been incredibly lucky to get so much interest in my book right off, but there are many writers out there, who have had a much harder time of it and still come out the other side smiling. So never give up.

love and hugs all

Joss xxx

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She lived, she loved, she wrote, and she just got a publishing contract.

Yes, it’s true, I just got a publishing contract for Insane Reno and I am insanely happy. I have been working towards this for a long time and I am so happy that my dreams of being a published author are finely coming true. For all of you out there still trying to get published never ever give up, it is the most amazing feeling in the world to achieve your dream and well worth all the hard work. 

big hugs Joss. xx

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The Blake Sea Second life.

Yesterday I purchased a home in the Blake sea, a collection of  over a hundred Sim’s which SL Residence are relatively free to navigate. I have explored these Sims many time by sailboat, kayak and other water craft.

It is one of the few places on Second life where you can explore large area’s without fear of ban lines getting in the way. Still it pays to have a ban line hud if you are going up the inlets or close to others homes just to be safe.

There is always something going on on the Blake sea, be it a boat race, a battle between ships and/or planes or group exploration. Pirates, fighter jets, pleasure cruisers, scuba divers and explorers all share the same water happily, but this does require an amount of respect, so ask before joining in with any RP, be careful not to get int he way of races that are taking place, and don’t go ploughing through smaller vessels.

you can view second lifes official code of conduct for the Blake sim’s here… http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Linden_Lab_Official:Blake_Sea_Code_of_Conduct

Now the first thing you need when coming to the blake sea, is somewhere to rez, there are lots of great places to rez on the Blake sea, but the best I have found for both planes and boats is Hawser

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blake%20Sea%20-%20Hawser/128/128/9

you’ll land in water here, but in the NE corner of this sim there is the USS victor which is a large aircraft carrier which I am pretty sure is a permanet feature for all to use, apologies if I am wrong, I’ve never had much luck with sl Planes so haven’t used it Personally.

USS Victor

There are a whole host of airports if you like more space. Just be careful you don’t end up like the plane wreck on the nearby sirens island 🙂

 http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blake%20Sea%20-%20Sirens%20Isle/142/207/20

My fav methord of transport on the Blake sea is the Galiko single person kayak pictured about with the USS Victor and the plane crash. This Kayak allows me to get in close to things, affords good control and I personally find it a relaxing way to explore.

You can purchase one for 1000 lindons on market place here…

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Galiko-Kayak-Sea-Single-Box-11/445310

well let’s get to the exploring…

 A handy tip to remember when it comes to the Blake sea is that there are Rez zones in the NE corner of most of the open sea sims.

 While exploring I came across a place called Honah Lee Field, which is a full Rez sim and I popped out of my kayak to have a look at the planes here,  this little purple plane at only 500 lindons proved to much of a temptation for me, so I am set to start trying the sl flying life, failing in that I have a pretty display piece, to join my rarely used helicopter. (rarely used but very easy to fly, I might add, it’s only rarely used as I prefer the water.) 

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Honah%20Lee%20Surf/182/74/23

Next door to my plane purchase I found a sim called sailors rest again a full rez sim, this one allowing guest to dock there boat for an hour and relax in there bar.

you can also get info on local races here, so if your interested in the racing aspect of these sims this should be on your list of to do.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Sailors%20Rest/121/225/20

 Well that’s enough exploring for now as I have classes to attend, but there is so much to see on the Blake sea Sims and I will be back to show you more soon. But for now…

Home sweet Home.

 look out for me on the Blake sims, My avatar name is Jossie Tyrellium. Take care and have a good day xx

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what a beautiful Day.

Monday’s are not my favorite day of the week, and I’m pretty sure I am not alone there, but waking up this morning to beautiful sunshine, certainly made the fact that it was a Monday, so much easier to cope with. 

That said I still wasn’t all that keen to get out of bed. 

Taking my son up to the bus this morning I thought back to my early years at school, and realized I couldn’t remember all that much about it, not even if I had enjoyed it or loathed it. There are just small snippets of memory.  

A schools sports day, queuing in long lines to go into the school after break time, and some very dodgy Easter hats we made. 

Although I couldn’t write well enough to keep a journal or diary, I realized that, with my poor memory even these pressures days of my child’s young life, might fade from my life if I didn’t start one now. I’ve tried before to keep a journal, and had a spurt of a few years when I was constant with it, but in the end always gave up. I’m hoping this time I can keep it going for good, so that I can look back and remember, and years after I’m gone my family can reflect on my life too. 

well love and hugs on this beautiful Monday. 

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Life ponderings

I’ve been pondering life a lot lately, as I have watched my friends and family on facebook, and wondered about why some of them insist on posting what I often feel should be private details about their lives.Statuses in which they bad mouth there friends, partners or acquaintances. Statuses in which they bleed there heart and soul to there huge list of friends, some of whole, they really don’t know all that well, and I just couldn’t understand it. 

It wasn’t something that ever really bothered me before, maybe I have grown up, or just got a little more irritable as I age, I don’t know. 

But the reality is I feel like they should not be doing it, I feel as if your private life should be just that private, that if you are low, angry or hurt, the only people you should share it with is your closest friends. 

Happiness and Joy, hopes and dreams, achievements and successes, should be what we put out for all to see, so that they can share in our joy with us. 

But then I remember no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and for some the support of anyone, no matter how well they know them, is a great comfort. 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I have also made some good choices. Marrying my husband, and having a child with him was a good choice, one which I haven’t always appreciated as I should, and although I have not been on facebook openly cursing my husband out, I have complained about him to my closest friends, and to his face. 

I can’t remember when I stopped lifting my husband up, and started instead to put him down, but the result was I got it back, and then it became a vicious cycle. Today, and more and more recently, we have been finding our way back to where we used to be, the couple everyone wanted to be. I am remembering why I fell in love with him and married him, I am being reminded daily of how wonderful a man he can be. 

I have at times looked at others husbands and wished my husband was more like them, I have looked at my male friends and wondered, should I have married them instead, would life be better if I have. But the reality is the grass is rarely greener on the other side, a man who seems kind, affectionate and loving, will have bad quality too, quality that will annoy you just as much as your husbands do, and perhaps more if you let them. 

I think in order to keep a marriage healthy and happy it takes work, you have to remember all the good things about your partner, try hard to boost them up, and not shout them down and when you do that, you get the same in return. 

I’m planning to work on that with my husband more, because although there are things about him that annoy me at times, there is so much about him that I love. 

It has taken me a long time to realize just how lucky I am, to truly see what I have got, and how great it is, but I now know that the grass is not always greener on the other side. 

I had a friend, who I thought was amazing, the perfect man, and I was certain he would make a wonderful husband, because he was affection, smart, sensible, kind and caring.

but as the time has gone I have also realized that he is insecure, afraid, set in his ways, overly sensitive, and well quite selfish. 

let me explain, he is insecure, because he has been hurt in the past, but those insecurity make it very hard for him to truly let go or trust people, I have never met someone who is so anti forgiveness and so distrusting of others as him, the result being he largely keeps himself to himself. He is afraid of being hurt, so again he shuts himself away, refuses to take risk and frequently runs away from bad situation, rather than facing them and dealing with them. He is set in his ways, not open to new ideas, and fails to have an open mind, meaning he has his view of what is right and what is wrong, and as far as he is concerned everything is just black and white, he cannot look behind others actions to the pain or hurt, need or desperation, feelings and longings that might lie beneath. When I say he is overly sensitive, I refer to his inability to take a joke, he becomes quiet and moody, refuses to talk to you, and his tone of voice lets you know he is not happy and as for the selfish, he is totally set to self preservation mode. To the point that he can’t see beyond his own needs, and wants. It is all about him, and I have found that when I have been deeply hurting and in need of his help, my place in his list of priority is right behind whatever it is he wants to be doing, be it eating, sleeping, or watching a program. 

Today, I asked myself, is this man really better, no, he isn’t. He is a good person with flaws like all the rest of us, like my husband, and the reality is, his flaws, I think at least for me are to hard to stomach. I am an open minded person, I care about people, they come first, and I want my partner to care about me, put me first or at least high up on his list of priorities, and my husband does that, he cares for our needs, works tirelessly to support us, and  always does his best to be available when I or our child needs him. 

He is fun, will have a laugh and a play fight with you, he lets me call him silly names, that perhaps he’d rather not be called, but which he knows I call him out of affection, such as bambi. He has a short fuse, but he would never intentionally hurt Kye or me, he is simply bark, and always regrets it later. 

He would never leave us, run away from us, or abandon us, we are always his main priority, even if at times he does get a little distracted, but we are all guilty of that. 

he makes me laugh, makes me feel loved and special, and always has his phone on, just encase. 

He is also incredibly handsome, and has an amazing body, lots of people think he looks a lot like Ryan Gosling and although look really don’t matter, it still nice to be attracted physically to your partner right, and a nice little bonus. 

In terms of who would be easier to live with, it would probably be my friend, but when it comes to fun, passion, excitement, and being able to joke and jest a little, my husband wins hands down. When I am in my forties maybe I’ll want to sit around watching films, sipping tea and living a quiet life, but that isn’t what I want now, I love my boys noisy banter, and roll my eyes every time my friend makes comments about my noisy son, and his boisterous play with his dad, or the barking dogs, who are all happy at the family antics too. 

But the biggest differences are these,my friend is a cat person, and I am a dog person, snooty verses loyal and loving, and that kind of reflects in our personality’s too. I love to be playful to hear laughter and joy, he likes quiet and peace, I love people and being around them, he likes to stay solitary sticking to only the people who challenge him the least and just let him be. I have lots of responsibilities and he really doesn’t have any major ones at all, and he doesn’t want them either. I strive to be independent from my parents, brothers, sisters, and to focus on my husband and son, and our own family, he’s to afraid to step out on his own, and make his own way.

When I first met my friend I thought he was amazing, and he still is, just now I know his flaws too and i think that is what we forget sometimes, everyone you meet, who likes you will strive to only show you what is good, and this works for a month, or even a year or two, but eventually, there faults will begin to show through, and sometimes the faults just outweigh the good. 

I’m just glad I was able to open my eyes, before walking away from a man with whom I feel perfectly matched because I am certain I’d have lived to regret it. 

I have come to believe that there are just a few things that you need in a man to be happy, you need to be able to trust him, you need to know that he will be there when you truly need him, and that he’d never just walk out when times get tough, because a real man stands by his family no matter what, and he need to be your best friend, because if you can’t laugh with him, share with him, and be an equal to him, it just won’t work and that’s not to say you wont disagree just that when you do he’s willing to listen to your point of view, and to try at least to understand where you are coming from, and finely he needs to love you for you, in-spite of your faults, and not try to force you to change to fit his needs, because if he needs you to change clearly your not meant to be. 

I am very fortunate to have most of these quality’s in my husband, there is only one of these areas where he struggles a little, but i love him in spite of that, and I am so glad that we found each other. 

I know now that the grass is lush and rich right where I am, and all that lays on the other side, was pain, heartache and regret, I’m just glad i realized it, before I threw all my blessings away.

thanks for reading and take care cause I care. 

p.s. don’t read this wrong and think i cheated on my husband, I didn’t, I would never do that, But I did for a time wonder at what was on the other side of the fence, but it’s late and that’s perhaps a story for another day xx

 

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what I really hate

Ok another writing exercise this one based around what I really hate, and there is one thing that shots right to the top of my hate list, oh my golly ollie you would not believe how much this thing grates on me, and this thing is, Drama queens/kings on facebook.

Those people that spend there whole lives moaning about the family, friends, ect on facebook.

Those statuses that say “I am so frigging mad right now, some people are so rude, learn to be a real friend, you know who you are.” and they are inevitably fishing for people to go, “awwww hun are you ok, what’s wrong?” and then it’s “I’ll inbox you,”, or for the really brash they just splurge it all out then and there.

I mean seriously, get over it move on and keep your private life private. Do you seriously want everyone to think all you do is whine and moan. You have no idea what true hardship it if all you have to moan about is someone who ignored you in the street, or called you a silly name grow up, shrug it off and move on. Rise above it.

there are people starving on the street, people dying from cancer, and all kinds of terrible things going on in the world, yet do you hear them on facebook moaning about it, no because they are getting on with it and making the best of a bad situation.

Ok I’m gonna stop now or I’ll just rant all over the place, but this is one of my biggest bugaboos, just grow up and if your a man grow a pair.

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Being thankfull

So I was given this writing exercise, in which I had to state what I am truly thankful for, and there are, let me assure you, so so many things. however, I didnt want to do something obvious like family, friends, God’s love, and so on and so forth, and so instead opted for Hot Pockets. Yes you read that right hot pockets, or more specifically, ham and cheese hot pockets.

These little crispy pastry pockets filled with gooey scrummy cheese and chunks of ham, tantalise my taste buds more than even Chocolate, and the mere mention of them can have me salivating like a deranged dog. I could eat them for ever meal, could devour nothing else for the rest of my life, and would be a crumbling wreck of emotions should they ever be gone.

so there you have it, what I am thankful for, now excuse me while I go devour one lol.

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